It only took a few hours. That was the time between Rishi Sunak looking so humble and sincere outside Downing Street on Tuesday morning as he promised to govern with “responsibility, integrity and professionalism” and he appointed Suella Braverman as Secretary Interior only six days after leaving the government. to break the ministerial code.
Rish! he likes to present himself as a new generation of politicians. The Goldman Sachs billionaire who can be trusted to tell the truth. No matter how uncomfortable it is. The man with the golden voice. A savior rising from the mean streets. But the reality is that he is not that different from any other Conservative leader. Party before country. Me before the party. Always open to any gross rejection deal if it works to his advantage.
For him the equation was simple. Leaky Sue could get her job back, no questions asked, in exchange for her support of him as party leader. Anything to stave off the threat of Boris Johnson’s return. And it had worked a treat. The Convict had come undone making all his supporters look stupid and Rish! he had left at No. 10 unopposed. A coronation rather than an election.
Now was the time for the conservators to get a first glimpse of what they had bought. Or, in some cases, what they had sold their souls for. Day two of the ongoing Tory psychodrama and Sunak’s first Prime Minister’s Questions. In July, Johnson had been the future once. In September it had been Liz Truss who had been the future once. There was now no sign of either former Prime Minister in the Commons. Maybe it turns out they’re on vacation.
Then it’s time for the cabinet to inspect the damage. Michael Gove was the first to enter the Commons. He looked phlegmatic. Lost in thought. Well, it could be. He’s been fired and rehired so many times that he knows failure is the only guarantee. He seemed genuinely curious when Andrea Jenkyns started talking about her belief in a meritocracy during women’s and equalities issues. Many of today’s Tory parties, including the Jenkyns, have gone far beyond what their talents would suggest.
Next was Nadhim Zahawi. You might have thought he would have had the grace to look a little embarrassed, a little embarrassed, to have so brazenly switched sides in last weekend’s maneuvering. But his sense of right is absolute. He sincerely believes that he is irreplaceable. The only way is hubris. Then came Oliver Dowden. He squeaks with excitement for his return to the front line. Raab just looked surprised. Then you would if your body count was in the double digits and you haven’t been arrested yet. psycho killer What’s up?
Penny Mordaunt just looked sullen. Thinking of that handful of lost votes that could have brought the leadership election to the Conservative members. They could have done almost anything. Also wondering why he hadn’t pulled out a few hours earlier. He could have settled down with Rish then! and become Secretary of Foreign Affairs. This mistake would haunt her for years. Last was the shameless Leaky Sue. Dream of putting migrants on a plane. Haven’t found a rule that applies to her yet. Surprisingly, she is supposed to be a lawyer.
Finally the stage was set for Sunak’s arrival. Prepared cheers went through the room. Although not as many as you might expect for a new leader in his first PMQs. There is usually a shower of goodwill and forced enthusiasm. The new found unity in the Tory party was only skin deep. Wendy Morton, Jacob Rees-Mogg and Kit Malthouse, all recently returned to the back benches, remained completely silent throughout. Jake Berry, the former party chairman, was absent. Gone, supposedly disloyal. Last seen writing a tweet trashing Sunak.
Keir Starmer began by congratulating Sunak on becoming the first person of color to become Prime Minister. It was a sincere gesture. It’s really a great moment for the country. Then the Labor leader lashed out. Was Leaky Sue right to resign for breaking the ministerial code? And had senior officials raised objections to its renewal? How could the Secretary of the Interior be a threat to national security?
Rish! he couldn’t answer that, resorting to an unintelligible word salad. Braverman had said sorry and besides she had done her punishment six days was more than enough, although five would have been too short and everyone deserved a second chance and it wasn’t like it had been a very serious offense even . although he had clearly been serious and she had lied about it, but Jeremy Corbyn anyway.
‘Defeated by a Prime Minister who lost on a lettuce’: Starmer hits out at Sunak at first PMQs – video highlights
It was like Boris-lite. Full of swaggering culture wars, but without the ability to lure his audience into his fantasies. Especially because he doesn’t believe his own lies. Well, that’s not enough. He’s too much of a Goldman Sachs PowerPoint geek. At PMQs, the Tories demand a complete narcissistic fantasist. Someone to tell them they are the winners. Someone who will deliver a Promised Land.
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Starmer switched to the non-dom tax status of Sunak’s wife and he withdrawing cash from the deprived areas of the north. “Yes,” Sunak said triumphantly. “What you have to remember is that the whole country is in a mess.” In retrospect, I might think that saying the Tories have screwed up the whole of the UK isn’t quite the killer line it thinks it is. Even if it’s true.
The exchanges ended inconclusively. The Labor leader had exposed some obvious weaknesses, wounds that could be reopened at will at any time in the future. Sunak cannot escape his past. Although he had done enough to convince his backbenchers, it would be better than Lizrium Liz. Then maybe we all would. But it all faded away in a bloodless goalless draw. An outcome that both sides would probably have anticipated. All new prime ministers get a free pass at their first PMQs, even Truss was enthusiastically received by the Tory press for the first time, so there’s no point in wasting too much energy.
There was only time for Rish! saying it was sticking to its leadership manifesto before brazenly abandoning parts of it and refusing to confirm whether it would increase benefits in line with inflation. He also accepted that building 8,000 new homes would be a big mistake. Why do people think they have a right to a place to live? Then he escaped to relatively light applause. The Tories are a fickle bunch.
Leaky Sue also slipped away just in time to avoid answering a pressing question about breaking her rules. so brave A defender of the highest standards. So it was left to the hapless Jeremy Quinn to defend Braverman’s honor. In front of the three or four Tories who cared enough to stay. She always felt very sorry for it. She would never do it again. It had been the longest six days of his life. end of