Given how we use the words “sadness” and “depression” in everyday life and in pop culture, it can be difficult to differentiate one from the other. Although they look similar, they are not. Experts say it’s like comparing a single star to a constellation. Understanding what separates sadness from depression is important, as it can help people know when to seek professional help and prevent unnecessary suffering.
Experts who spoke to Lifehacker described sadness as a normal emotional state that all people experience in their lives after a loss, disappointment or other upsetting events. Depression, on the other hand, is a mental health condition characterized by a persistent sad mood or loss of enjoyment for most of the day and almost every day for at least two weeks, according to clinical psychologist Dr. Kathryn Gordon and author of The Suicidal Thoughts Workbook.
One of the biggest differences between sadness and depression is how long a person’s experience persists. Dr. Bedford Palmer, a licensed psychologist in California and founder of Deeper Than Color, said sadness is moment-specific.
“It can be a melancholy that lasts a day. The weather may have changed right now,” Palmer said. “It may even be something that honestly isn’t that bad. Sadness is something you can feel and appreciate, like, ‘I feel sad because this happened,’ and that’s appropriate.”
Depression, however, is much more complex and can seriously affect a person’s life. Palmer explained that depression is a constellation of symptoms that includes sadness, but other things are also going on. People may lose their appetite, have trouble sleeping, experience upset stomachs, have trouble concentrating, or not enjoy things they would normally do.
In these cases, the person is experiencing something beyond sadness that may be difficult to deal with on their own.
How depression is different from a sad or bad day
Dr. Jessi Gold, a psychiatrist and assistant professor of psychiatry at Washington University School of Medicine in St. Louis, said in an email that medical professionals look for a variety of symptoms when diagnosing depression, not just sadness. For a major depressive episode, which consists of intense and overwhelming symptoms that interfere with a person’s daily life, the symptoms must be present for two weeks.
According to Gold, this criterion emphasizes that “people have reactions to life events or even a tougher day at work, and they don’t need to be pathologized.”
“Many people feel sad, it’s a normal reaction, but it’s important to notice what else happens to you when you feel sad, how long these symptoms last and if they interfere with your day-to-day life,” he said. Gold. “That matters.”
Also, depression can manifest in different ways beyond sadness, and sometimes people with depression may not feel sad, Palmer notes. Depression can cause people to have trouble concentrating or become really irritable. It can also cause people to have low motivation or lead them to withdraw from others.
Sadness is temporary, but it can be difficult to get out of depression
Palmer notes that it’s helpful to think of depression as being on a spectrum. Simply put, someone can have minor depression to major depression. What differentiates these episodes is their level of intensity, which refers to how they interfere with a person’s life and how long they last.
“It’s very different from listening to a sad song and feeling melancholy. It’s even different than losing a family member and being very, very sad for a month, but then coming out of it and feeling a little bit better week after week,” she said. “With depression, it’s not of an emotional trigger or of the distance in time of an emotional trigger. You don’t get out of it and feel good until the biological causes of depression are changed naturally or through medication.”
However, this does not mean that sadness cannot affect people in profound ways. Gordon, the psychologist and author, said in an email that sometimes sadness can have a bigger impact on people, even if they don’t also suffer from depression. For example, she explained that when sadness is linked to grief, it can affect people’s lives and moods for longer periods of time, even if they don’t have depression.
People who do not treat their depression are at risk of having another episode
In our society, it’s common for loved ones to tell people with depression to get over it or that it’s just a part of life. Gordon explains that sometimes, depression goes away on its own. This can be due to the passage of time, changing life circumstances or what’s called “spontaneous remission” with no known cause, he said. But this does not mean that a person cannot experience another depression in the future.
“[I]If depression goes away on its own without treatment and without learning new coping strategies, it increases the risk that depression will return at some point,” Gordon said.
Palmer agreed and said that many times, people with depression will go down into a valley and then come back up again. The effects of depression wear off and you may feel better, perhaps even for a long time. But susceptibility to depression is a different story. Palmer compared the susceptibility to having a physical illness, such as asthma. He may not have had an attack in years, Palmer said, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t a chance of an attack.
People with depression may have suicidal thoughts
Suicidal thoughts are another big differentiator between sadness and depression. According to Gold, the psychiatrist, suicidal thoughts and depression often go hand in hand, and depression is a risk factor for suicide. However, he stressed that not everyone who has suicidal thoughts is depressed. Similarly, not everyone who is depressed has suicidal thoughts.
Gold said she considers suicidal thoughts to be a serious warning sign when it comes to depression, but also noted that for a psychiatrist, there are different levels of severity in thoughts. These nuances are generally not something friends or family members notice, but mental health providers are trained to do so.
“To a psychiatrist, there’s a difference between, ‘I wish I didn’t wake up tomorrow,’ and ‘I’ve started saving on my medication, and I know I’d want to end my life this way,'” he said, and he adding that when suicidal thoughts become more frequent or less easy to ignore, psychiatrists become more concerned.
How to know when to seek help
All the experts who spoke to Lifehacker stressed that it’s important for people to know what their “baseline” is (normal behavior for them) and pay close attention to any changes. Gold suggests asking questions about specific habits and activities. You usually sleep seven hours and now you sleep five? Do you eat differently than usual? Are you isolated and don’t want to do things with friends?
Another important aspect to consider is whether a person’s symptoms are getting worse, the psychiatrist explained. (For example, if you used to be able to leave the house to see your friends, but now you can’t.) People should also think about how their symptoms affect their lives. Just because you’re still functioning and going to work or school doesn’t mean you’re okay.
“I see a lot of health care workers and college students who say, ‘I go to school and my grades are good,’ or ‘I go to work and I can still do my job well,’ so I can’t be depressed.”, Gold said. “In my experience, school and work are something many of us can do for a long time while depressed, and it’s the other areas of our day-to-day life that [are affected first]”.
Some people may stop taking care of themselves or their home, Gold said. They may also stop maintaining friendships or devote less attention to relationships with partners or children.
Palmer and Gordon note that other warning signs include feeling sad for a long period of time, such as most of the day or almost every day for weeks. People should consider getting help when their emotional state is causing them great distress and affecting their relationships, work or school. Suicidal thoughts are also a big, serious warning sign. People who experience repeated suicidal thoughts should seek professional help immediately.
How depression is treated
Treatment for depression depends on many factors, Gold said, including the severity of symptoms, the person’s mental health history and family mental health history. Many people can begin to manage their depression with therapy, he said, which allows them to identify the reasons for the depression and the triggers. Cognitive behavioral therapy can provide people with coping skills for depression without medication.
However, other people may not be able to improve with therapy alone and will need medication, according to Gold. In these cases, the first line of medication preferred by psychiatrists is selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors, or SSRIs, which are the most commonly prescribed type of antidepressant. Research has shown that a combination of medication and therapy is the best treatment option for people with moderate to severe depression.
Overall, all the experts who spoke to Lifehacker emphasized that there are many evidence-based treatments available to help people suffering from depression. They also said it’s never too early to get help.
“Depression affects many people. It is not the result of a weakness or a personal flaw. It’s a mental health condition with helpful treatments available,” Gordon said. “Please be compassionate with yourself if you’re struggling and know you deserve support.”